IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ CAREFULLY BEFORE CONSUMING.

BY DRINKING "ANXIETY SOCIETY" (HEREINAFTER REFERRED TO AS "THE ELIXIR"), YOU ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND CONDITIONS:

1. ELIGIBILITY & AGE: THE ELIXIR IS INTENDED FOR USE ONLY BY INDIVIDUALS 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER. BY CONSUMING THE ELIXIR, YOU CONFIRM THAT YOU ARE OF LEGAL AGE IN YOUR JURISDICTION.


2. GUARANTEED EFFECTS: THE ELIXIR HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY FORMULATED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SIGNIFICANT INCREASES IN WEALTH, ATTRACTIVENESS, FAME, AND HAPPINESS. HOWEVER, INDIVIDUAL RESULTS MAY VARY. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES THAT THESE EFFECTS WILL OCCUR EXACTLY AS DESCRIBED.


3. LEFT ARM REQUIREMENT: IN ADDITION TO THE SACRIFICE OF YOUR FIRSTBORN CHILD, YOU AGREE TO PERMANENTLY RELINQUISH YOUR LEFT ARM WITHIN 7 DAYS OF DRINKING THE ELIXIR. THIS CAN BE DONE THROUGH ANY MEDICALLY APPROVED METHOD, INCLUDING VOLUNTARY AMPUTATION OR OTHER FORMS OF PHYSICAL REMOVAL. FAILURE TO COMPLY WITH THIS REQUIREMENT WILL RESULT IN THE IMMEDIATE CESSATION OF THE ELIXIR'S EFFECTS, AND YOU WILL FORFEIT ANY POTENTIAL BENEFITS.


4. SIDE EFFECTS: WHILE MOST USERS EXPERIENCE RAPID WEALTH, FAME, AND HAPPINESS, THE FOLLOWING SIDE EFFECTS ARE POSSIBLE: DIZZINESS, RAPID PHYSICAL TRANSFORMATION (INCLUDING CHANGES IN APPEARANCE), SUDDEN LOSS OF EMPATHY, INABILITY TO PROCESS EMOTIONS, INCREASED PUBLIC ATTENTION, AND COMPULSIVE DESIRES TO FLAUNT NEWFOUND WEALTH. SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS, INCLUDING PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS, IDENTITY CONFUSION, AND ARM PHANTOM LIMB SENSATIONS, MAY ALSO OCCUR.


5. WEALTH AND FAME: THE WEALTH YOU RECEIVE FROM THE ELIXIR WILL MANIFEST WITHIN 30 DAYS OF CONSUMPTION, BUT THE EXACT METHOD OF ACQUISITION IS SUBJECT TO THE WHIMS OF FATE. YOU MAY WIN A FORTUNE IN THE LOTTERY, INHERIT VAST ESTATES, OR SIMPLY RECEIVE SUBSTANTIAL GIFTS FROM MYSTERIOUS BENEFACTORS. FAME MAY TAKE THE FORM OF WORLDWIDE RECOGNITION, ENDORSEMENT DEALS, OR SOCIAL MEDIA VIRALITY. HOWEVER, NOT ALL TYPES OF FAME ARE GUARANTEED TO BE POSITIVE, AND YOU MAY ALSO ATTRACT UNWANTED ATTENTION, INCLUDING PAPARAZZI AND STALKERS.


6. ATTRACTIVENESS: YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE MAY UNDERGO DRASTIC CHANGES, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: INCREASED HEIGHT, ENHANCED MUSCLE TONE, FACIAL SYMMETRY, RADIANT SKIN, AND IMPROVED HAIR QUALITY. HOWEVER, ATTRACTIVENESS IS SUBJECTIVE, AND YOU MAY FIND THAT SOME PEOPLE BECOME UNNERVINGLY OBSESSED WITH YOU, WHILE OTHERS ARE TURNED OFF BY YOUR NEWFOUND APPEARANCE. BE PREPARED FOR CONSTANT ATTENTION, BOTH POSITIVE AND NEGATIVE.


7. HAPPINESS: THE ELIXIR WILL ENHANCE YOUR SENSE OF HAPPINESS, OFTEN LEADING TO OVERWHELMING FEELINGS OF JOY, CONTENTMENT, AND EMOTIONAL SATISFACTION. HOWEVER, DUE TO THE NATURE OF THE ELIXIR'S POWER, HAPPINESS MAY BE FLEETING AND INCONSISTENT. PROLONGED PERIODS OF EUPHORIA MAY GIVE WAY TO MOMENTS OF EXISTENTIAL DREAD, AND YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF QUESTIONING THE TRUE NATURE OF YOUR NEWFOUND HAPPINESS.


8. NO REFUNDS: ONCE THE ELIXIR IS CONSUMED, NO REFUNDS OR EXCHANGES ARE POSSIBLE. THE ELIXIR'S EFFECTS ARE IRREVERSIBLE, AND THE SACRIFICES REQUIRED ARE BINDING. ANY ATTEMPTS TO REVERSE THE SACRIFICES OR UNDO THE EFFECTS MAY RESULT IN SEVERE CONSEQUENCES, INCLUDING LOSS OF WEALTH, ATTRACTIVENESS, FAME, AND HAPPINESS.


9. LEGAL & MORAL OBLIGATIONS: BY DRINKING THE ELIXIR, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU ARE FULLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY LEGAL, MORAL, OR ETHICAL CONSEQUENCES ARISING FROM THE REQUIRED SACRIFICES. WE DISCLAIM ANY LIABILITY FOR ANY EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, OR PHYSICAL HARM CAUSED TO YOU OR OTHERS AS A RESULT OF YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS TRANSFORMATIVE PROCESS.


10. INDEMNIFICATION: YOU AGREE TO INDEMNIFY AND HOLD HARMLESS THE CREATORS, DISTRIBUTORS, AND AFFILIATES OF THE ELIXIR FROM ANY LEGAL ACTIONS, CLAIMS, OR DAMAGES ARISING FROM YOUR CONSUMPTION OF THE PRODUCT, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: LAWSUITS RELATED TO YOUR LOSS OF BODY PARTS, FINANCIAL MISCONDUCT, FAMILIAL REPERCUSSIONS, AND PSYCHOLOGICAL DISTRESS.


11. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES: THE ELIXIR IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND, EITHER EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO THE WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND NON-INFRINGEMENT. THE CREATORS OF THE ELIXIR MAKE NO PROMISES REGARDING THE CONSISTENCY, TIMING, OR DURATION OF ITS EFFECTS.


12. FORCE MAJEURE: THE CREATORS OF THE ELIXIR ARE NOT LIABLE FOR ANY FAILURE TO DELIVER RESULTS DUE TO FORCES BEYOND THEIR CONTROL, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO NATURAL DISASTERS, COSMIC EVENTS, ALIEN INTERVENTIONS, OR ANY OTHER EXTRAORDINARY CIRCUMSTANCE.


13. SEVERABILITY: IF ANY PROVISION OF THIS FINE PRINT IS FOUND TO BE INVALID OR UNENFORCEABLE BY A COURT OF LAW, THE REMAINING PROVISIONS WILL CONTINUE IN FULL FORCE AND EFFECT.


14. AMENDMENTS: THE CREATORS OF THE ELIXIR RESERVE THE RIGHT TO MODIFY THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS AT ANY TIME WITHOUT PRIOR NOTICE. BY CONTINUING TO CONSUME THE ELIXIR, YOU AGREE TO ABIDE BY THE MOST CURRENT TERMS.

BY DRINKING THE ELIXIR, YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT YOU HAVE READ, UNDERSTOOD, AND ACCEPTED THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS IN THEIR ENTIRETY. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK.

NOT AVAILABLE IN ALL REGIONS. VOID WHERE ALLOWED. FOR USE ONLY BY THOSE PREPARED FOR RADICAL CHANGE. THIS PRODUCT IS NOT ENDORSED BY ANY REPUTABLE ORGANIZATION.